Title: What Had To Be Done
Rating: R (violence)
Spoilers: Season 5 "The Gift".
Notes: This is an answer to The Gift Revisited Challenge at Your Mission.
Warnings: Character Death. Rather extreme violence. Lots and lots of angst.
Disclaimer: None of the characters or concepts contained herein are mine. I do this for fun, not profit.
Feedback happily and eagerly accepted at leah_roman@yahoo.com
Summary: Giles did what had to be done.
Giles looked down at Ben's corpse and shook his head tiredly. He didn't regret killing Ben at all, but the look on the man's face before he died would haunt Giles for a long time. With a sigh, he stood and returned his thoughts to the task at hand. Summoning his deepest reserves of energy, he raced toward the top of the structure to check on Dawn. The world wasn't saved yet.
He arrived on the platform in time to see Doc making the first cut into Dawn's stomach. Breathing heavily, Giles stepped forward and pulled the demon away from Dawn. With a quick twist of his body, he pushed Doc over the edge of the platform.
"Giles," Dawn screamed. "Help me. He cut me."
As she struggled against her bonds, she felt blood drip between her toes and drop toward the ground. As more blood flowed, the portal opened in the sky below the platform.
"Giles, do something!" Dawn screamed as panic overtook her. "It's starting, Giles! You have to do something!"
Oblivious to the bolts of lightning crackling in the air and other evidence of reality tearing itself apart, Giles slowly approached Dawn. He cradled her face in his large hands and looked into her wild, frightened eyes.
"Dawn, there's only one thing I can do now," he said quietly. " You know that, don't you? You know what needs to be done."
"I know," Dawn whispered sadly. Tears slipped down her cheeks and into Giles' hands as she remembered moments in a life she had never lived. It wasn't fair! She was only fourteen years old! But in reality she was much younger than that. And she was much older than that. And her blood would destroy this world and countless others unless it was stopped. And there was only one way to do that.
"Dawn, I-" Giles swallowed past a sudden lump in his throat. Tears flowed freely down his face. "I wish there were some other way."
"Me, too. I want to live. I want to go to high school. I want to date boys and go to prom. And be elected Homecoming Queen." Dawn said with a small, half-hearted laugh. "But that's not an option for me. I don't get to do any of it," she finished bitterly.
"I'm so sorry, Dawn. I wish it could be different." Giles was suddenly unsure of himself. Killing Ben had been so easy. But could he really kill Dawn? How could he even consider ending the life of this beautiful, innocent child? He knew he had to do this. There simply wasn't anyone else who could. He was the one who would do the things others couldn't do. It was his sworn and sacred duty. He would have been perfectly willing to give his own life in service to the world, but why hers? Why did this lovely girl have to die so that the rest of the world would live?
"Giles-" Dawn's scream snapped him back to reality. Or what was left of it. A dragon was circling the sky overhead and the horizon was turning strange colors. Fires were burning in several places. The ground below them was rending itself apart. "Giles, it has to be soon. The world won't hold much longer."
He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Buffy loves you very much," he whispered into her hair. "You know that, don't you?"
"I know," Dawn responded softly.
"I love you, too. We all do." His arms slowly slid up to cradle her head. "Never forget that."
"I won't forget. I love you, too," Dawn whispered. She tried valiantly not to cry, knowing it might break Giles' will. "It has to be now."
"I know. Close your eyes," Giles said with a small tremor in his voice.
As her eyelids dropped, Giles twisted Dawn's neck sharply to one side. When he felt the snap of breaking bone, he looked around and saw the world return to normal. Suddenly, the only sound he heard was that of his blood rushing through his body.
Giles looked to the heavens. "God forgive me." He slid to his knees and sobbed.
"Giles!" Buffy stopped short as she reached the top of the platform. "Dawn!" Buffy called. "Dawn, are you okay?" She saw Dawn hanging limp in her ropes. "Dawn!" Buffy screamed. "Giles, what happened? Dawn's gonna be okay, right? Dawn's okay, isn't she?" Buffy grew increasingly panicked as Giles didn't respond or acknowledge her presence in any way. "Giles, answer me." She walked to him and touched his shoulder. "Everything's okay, right?"
"Everything will be fine now," Giles answered blankly.
Buffy touched Dawn's cheek and pulled her hand back as she felt Dawn's head loll unnaturally. "Wh- what happened here?" she asked. "What did you do?"
"I did what had to be done."
"What did you do?" Buffy asked, feeling on the verge of tears.
"I stopped the blood," Giles answered quietly, without feeling. "I did what had to be done."
"You killed her," Buffy said incredulously. "Say it!" She screamed at him. "Tell me you killed my sister!"
"I did what had to be done."
"Why did you kill her? You didn't have to kill her!" Buffy screamed in rage at her mentor. "How could you do something like that? How could you kill an innocent little girl?"
"I did what had to be done," he repeated in that same eerily blank voice.
"How could you do that? You killed my little sister." Buffy looked at Giles in disbelief. "I don't know you anymore. Maybe I never did. I told you what I'd do to anyone who hurt Dawn," she said, her voice dangerously soft. As she felt the anger well up inside, she did the first thing that came to her. She hit Giles in the mouth.
He reeled from the blow, but made no move to defend himself. He simply looked up at her from his knees and waited for the next punch. Giles knew it was only right that he should feel the Slayer's wrath. What he had done was truly evil. Buffy's job was to find evil and destroy it. He fervently hoped that her resolve held true, and that Buffy would kill him. Giles knew he would never be able to live with what he had done.
"I did what had to be done," he said again, hoping this would bring another blow.
He wasn't disappointed as Buffy kicked him hard in the ribs. "Is that all you can say?" She asked tauntingly. "Is that what you said to Dawn?" She kicked him in the side of his head. "Tell me something. Did she beg for her life?" She took Giles' hand and stroked it gently as she spoke. Then without warning, she pressed down sharply and broke his wrist. "'Cause before I'm through, you're gonna beg for yours."
Giles gave an involuntary grunt of pain when he felt the delicate bones in his wrist snap. With an effort he opened his eyes and looked at his Slayer. "I did what had to be done."
"Don't hide behind that," Buffy yelled in frustration. "Don't you dare hide behind your duty."
"I was the only one who could do it. I did what had to be done" Giles welcomed the pain Buffy was causing him. He felt deserved every bit of it. He closed his eyes and let his head drop onto his chest in resignation. "It was the only way. I did what had to be done," he whispered sadly, showing emotion for the first time since Buffy had arrived on the platform.
"Don't expect any sympathy from me," Buffy said as she kicked him in the ribs again. "Dawn was the only thing I had left to live for. She was my innocence. She was my light. She was made from me, Giles. You killed part of me." Tears fell freely down Buffy's face as she poured all of her anger and despair onto Giles. "She was the last thing in this world that I loved!" She cried and kicked Giles in the ribs again. She noted with sick satisfaction, that at least one of his ribs had broken under her assault.
"Buffy, please," Giles wheezed. He finally allowed his own tears to fall.
"Please what, Giles?" Buffy asked bitterly. "Please stop? Please don't hurt you?"
"Please," Giles paused and coughed, "Please kill me," he finished in a whisper. He looked up at Buffy with despair in his eyes. "Please end my life," he pleaded. "I deserve nothing less."
"And you think I should give you what you deserve? You didn't give Dawn what she deserved," Buffy railed. "She didn't deserve to die."
"I did what had to be done," Giles said softly.
"Stop saying that!" Buffy yelled as she hit Giles again. Blood flowed from his nose and she saw that it was misaligned. Dimly she realized that she had probably broken it. His glasses were nowhere to be found. She looked down at Giles, all her anger suddenly gone. She slid to her knees next to Giles.
"Buffy-" Giles started.
"Don't say it," Buffy said firmly. "Yeah, I know there was no other way. I know how hard it must have been for you. I know you loved Dawn, too."
"I'm so sorry, Buffy."
"I don't think I want to have this conversation right now," Buffy said tiredly. "Let's just get back downstairs." She started feeling around between her and Giles. "I can't find your glasses. Sorry about that."
Giles laughed bitterly, then coughed and held his ribs. With a sheepish smile tugging at his mouth, he pulled his glasses out of his jacket pocket. As he slid them onto his face, Giles marveled that with all he'd been through, they were unbroken.
"Well, good," Buffy said. "Hey, do you have a knife?" she asked as she stood.
"Yes," he said. "Um, Buffy," Giles asked hesitantly, "would you mind telling me what you need it for?"
Buffy was stunned at the question. After all they had been through together, he had just as much as told her he didn't trust her. Sure, she had lost it with Giles just now, but she could never actually hurt him. No matter how much he deserved it.
"I need it-" Buffy broke off as a sob choked her throat. She took a deep breath and continued in a tight, clipped voice. "I need it to cut the ropes off my sister."
He reached behind his back and retrieved his pocketknife and handed it to Buffy.
She took it from him without a word and used it to cut Dawn's bonds. Tenderly, she lifted her sister's body into her arms. Without looking at Giles, she started down the structure toward the ground. With some effort, she managed to balance Dawn's body in her arms against the frame of the ladder and free her hands to climb down.
Giles almost offered to help Buffy negotiate the ladders with her difficult burden, but seeing the determination in Buffy's body, he wisely kept his mouth shut.
By the time Buffy reached the bottom of the ladder, she was sobbing. With each step Buffy took, the burden of her sister's body became heavier and harder to bear. Finally she sat down on the stairs with Dawn cradled tenderly in her lap as if she were only sleeping.
"I understand duty. I understand saving the world." She sighed with exhaustion. "I'll keep doing my job. I'm kinda the only one who can. But," she said barely above a whisper, "I think I don't want you to be my Watcher anymore. I don't think I want you in my life at all anymore," she finished sadly.
Giles' heart fell as he heard the words he knew would be coming. Giles thought of Buffy very much as a daughter, and leaving her would be like leaving a part of himself behind. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and said the only thing he could. "Of course, Buffy. I'll leave as soon as I can."
"Good," Buffy said. Without another word and without looking back, Buffy picked up her burden and began the long walk down the stairs.
Giles continued to stare at the spot where Buffy had been long after she had gone. He would never be sure how long he sat there, remembering the five years he had spent training and nurturing this girl and her friends. They had become his family and now he had to leave them.
It was the only way. He would do what had to be done.
end